1. Nearly all suicides are suspicious.

2. Be careful not to trip over any dead bodies on your morning jog. They’re everywhere.

3. If you are a teenager and you think your parents died in a mysterious accident, just give it some time. Chances are, they’ll turn up again.

4. Don’t even think about ever taking a vacation. You’re just asking to find a dead body or get caught up in some smuggling ring. Better to just stay home.

5. If two cases fall into your lap at around the same time, they’re probably linked, even if they seem totally different or discrete and happened fifty years apart from each other.

6. The most important tool to solve a case is coffee.

7. For the love of God, just stay away from horses.